Domestic violence, a canker worm in Nigerian society

Domestic violence is violence or other abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting such as marriage. The violence involves so many forms such as physical, emotional, sexual, and reproductive abuse ranges from subtle coercive forms to marital rape and violent physical abuse such as choking. Globally the victims of domestic violence are overwhelmingly women and they tend to experience more severe terms of violence, they are likelier than men to use intimate partner violence. Women's aid collective defined it as a pattern of controlling coercive threatening and violent  behavior including sexual violence, in the majority of cases, it is experienced by women and perpetrated by men.

Domestic abuse is a gendered crime which is deeply rooted in the social inequality between men and women. It is a form of gender based violence and is the biggest issue facing women and girls nation wide today. Barrister Emmanuel oranye defined it as a trouble or confusion in any marriage or household. He stated that there are many marriages which experiences problems that end up leading to separation of marriages and dissolution of marriages, " as of today, there are so many things attributed to be the causes of violence such as a man going to another place and marrying a woman not known to him before either out of social appearance  so in this case the man might decide to understudy the woman, in the process of doing so the man may not have patience. He also said that the woman may be domineering , maybe the mother was controlling the father and would want to control her husband the same way thinking she is doing the right thing, this leads to problems and may also cause conflicts. He noted that in some parts of Nigeria  that it is a common practice that if a man  or woman go into marriage that he or she must have their own "agiri"but in the situation  where some families don't accept that tradition and yet they still have friends, it also leads to dissolution of marriages. He added that some men like to marry under aged women due to the fact that she is very young so that she can be controlled and the man would be hurting her for no reason . medical director  rockman hospital Ebuka Nwafor lamented on these by saying that most of these patients don't come at  all to say their problems at all  except if the problem has reached the physical and they have bruises on their faces. He added  that problems women encounter in domestic violence is  due to the fact that they are abused physically and verbally and it hurts their psychological psyche making them think little of themselves which in the long run makes them withdrawn from the society. There have been cases of women losing their lived because  they are built like the weaker sex, might end up not seeking appropriate help and covering the act up or the oppressor which leads to them being killed. He cried out that both  men and women are abused and there are no exceptions ,he included by saying that men don't generally speak up because  abuse ranges from emotional abuse  and psychological trauma meaning that most men endure these and express theirs by watching a soccer game and bring sober. He concluded by  saying that it should be stopped  through  three ways the primary waythst awareness should be raised so that if one finds himself in the situation  of being abused that there are centers one can see that are available  for this patients abused and also  there are legal places to go to empower the women on these violence  issue and part of the education is to educate and empower the girl child, that would go a long way and also inculcate men, educating can be in many ways such as religious ways  due to the fact that we are  all  religious this can help by especially  for those married, counseling  is needed that they should find out if they are compatible and that they should know that once in a while there will always be fights it depends on how one handles it he then went on to say that secondaryis when the abused patients come to the hospital so that  we treat and counsel them and involve the multi portals too because  domestic  violence is a multi disciplinary thing, sometimes you have to involve people of the law. He concluded by saying that government coming in place, there should be a check on violence, like when the laws are involved the man can go a few months even if it is not prison but probation and that there should be a fine attached to it.